John Fletcher resolves to wait patiently for God and never give up hope

Excerpt from John Fletcher's journal @ age of 25, not long before his new birth: 

"Thursday, my fast day, Satan beset me hard; I sinned, and grievously too. And now I almost gave up all hope. I mourned deeply, but with a heart as hard as ever, I was on the brink of despair, and continued, nevertheless, to fall into sin, as often as I was assaulted with temptation. But I must observe that all this while, though I had a clear sense of my wickedness, and of what I deserved; and though I often thought that hell would be my portion, if God did not soon pity me, yet I never was much afraid of it. Whether this was owing to a secret hope lodged in my mind, or to hardness of heart, I know not; but I was continually crying out, 'What stupidity! I see myself hanging as by a thread over hell! and yet I am not afraid--but sin on! Oh what is man without the grace of God? a very devil in wickedness, though inferior to him in experience and power.' 

In the evening I went to a friend, and told him something of my present state; he endeavored to administer comfort, but it did not suit my case; there is no peace to a sinner unless it come from above. When we parted, he gave me some advice which suited my condition better: 'God (said he) is merciful; God loves you; and if he deny you anything, it is for your good; you deserve nothing at his hands; wait then patiently for him, and never give up your hope.' I went home resolved to follow his advice, though I should stay till death.

From “A Short Account of the Life and Death of the Rev. John Fletcher, Vicar of Madelay” written by John Wesley